Bridging the Gaps: Looking Back, Forward, and Fat

Apparently it's a new year. I know this because someone about a week ago said something to that effect and tried to kiss me. I quickly stiff-armed her in the face and continued drinking. But there were more clues, other than greasy facial hand-prints and angry women, that have helped my discover this amazing revelation:


Back:
People seem to be talking a lot about what happened last year. Boring things like politics, economy, and the monotonous drone of banished riders verbally repenting for their doping ways. If I were to look back, I'd see a lot of road rash, beer, and broken bicycles and think "Not bad, Idiot. Not bad."

Forward:
Talk about the past inevitably leads to talk about the future. If you filter out the normal, boring stuff, you'll most likely be reading about pro rider's 2009 goals. Other riders are anxious to return to the peleton after serving their sentences for controlled substances or general stupidity. Oh and CyclingNews is finally giving their website a facelift. w00t! (Pez did too, but I don't really care)

Fat:
Who's fat? Everyone's fat! Every fucking TV commercial is about weight loss, dieting, supplements, health, and body image. It tends to create a lot of confusion and self-loathing when I'm watching the boob tube, especially when Top Chef is on. What am I doing this year about my weight? Well, I just renewed my USCF license. I think that's good enough. In fact, it's actually too good a solution to leading a healthy lifestyle. So this year I'm also going to adopt a new motto: Just Add Bacon. (Chewy, not crispy)


Oh, and happy new years!