Crude Oil

It's 11:30am and I'm buzzin' pretty bad right now. I'm not drunk or high (on life or other substances). My buzz is coming from the shit ton of oil and engine degreaser that I am covered in.

I guess I should preface this entry with: I am a dumbass. It's a theme that I'm sure everyone is very familiar with, but tends to surprise even me at times.

A while ago, I saw that the oil and wiper fluids were running a bit low. My engine burns/leaks a bit of oil every once in a while, so I wasn't really surprised. Several weeks passed and I did nothing, until the frost and ice started coming and I couldn't see through my windshield, especially since I'm too lazy to scrape the ice off manually. I would rather forgo the car altogether and ride my bike. A week and a half ago, I pick up some pimped out wiper juice infused with Rain-X and some synthetic 5W-30. I was so proud of myself when I momentarily assumed the role of a normal, responsible car owner that I gave myself a golden star sticker and patted myself on the back, twice. But it turns out I am very undeserving of such high praises. I forgot to replace the oil cap. Then I drove my car. For a week. Hard. Sure, I smelled a bit of the oil burning from the engine bay, but simply thought I had carelessly spilled some excess oil on a heat shield or header and figured it would burn off eventually. I finally caved in and opened up the hood only after people had commented on the excessively large pools of oil that were forming under my parked car. Holy shit. Oil was everywhere. If you ever need to know how to waste two quarts of engine oil, just give me your car for a week and take the oil cap off. I drove (the other car) to Advanced Auto and picked up rags, engine degreaser, oil, and a new cap, but had trouble finding any dignity, as mine had obviously been sprayed all over my engine bay and left to die. One hour and 40-something dollars later, my engine is a good bit cleaner, but will probably never forgive me for what I've done. Also, my buzz has become a full-blown headache as I've been writing this. Like I've always said before, things that can shock me or explode make me very nervous and tonight I am definitely sleeping with one eye open.