Untrained

It's January 16 and I have yet to be on the trainer or rollers this winter. I was pretty proud of myself until I realized that I don't actually own a set of rollers, my trainer may or may not be "broken," and I haven't been on a ride longer than an hour in several weeks. (Excluding any sober or drunken jaunt on the fixie) I'll get my act together sooner or later, but for now I'm content in my sloth, especially on days like today, when I wake up and discover that it's friggin 9-degrees outside.

Ride a trainer?? I don't know how people do it; Sit inside, on a gorgeous machine designed to take you places with the wind in your hair and a smile on your face. I'd almost rather be fat, or take up swimming. Today, I had a customer come in to have a computer installed on his bike. He bought it specifically to be used on his trainer, but was sadly disappointed when I told him that his wireless speed sensor would only work on his front wheel. He kept going on with "oh. Well, how come? Will I be able to use my heart-rate and cadence?" I quietly replied yes, trying desperately to maintain my composure while my brain was two-syllables short of exploding. All I needed to hear was "aerobars" and I would've had a shit fit. Fortunately, those words were never uttered and life in Arlington, VA continued without interruption. I really wanted to explain to him that speed is irrelevant on a trainer, that speed is damn near irrelevant on the road, and that he should stop talking or else I would be forced to choke him out. But to each his own and I'm pretty sure I'm sick with a fever or something. It might just be cabin fever, but I know that whatever it is the cure isn't riding indoors. It's hypothermia or nada.