'Cross Withdrawal

I don't plan on hanging up the 'cross bike anytime soon, but the races are all done for now. I know this because I've obsessively been cruising Bikereg.com for any 'cross race that can be reached by bike, car, train, airplane, blimp, or hot air balloon. Having raced only three times this season due to an unfortunate mix-up with our team sponsor (We still love you Van Dessel!), I've experienced just enough pain and suffering to get addicted to the sport. To say that I've spent a lot of time and effort looking for that next fix is like saying "Owie. That stings a little." after getting pummeled by Tony Jaa. In an effort to curb my 'cross craving, I've compiled a short list of things I've learned from my unfortunately short season:

1) I like it.
Sliding around in the mud, running up hills, hopping over barriers, and short technical courses are only a few reasons I like it. It's painful, sure, but I don't mind. The lack of monotony is a welcome change from road racing and it seems that people at 'cross races generally have more fun and complain less.

2) I still race like an Idiot.
I should hire someone as my racing conscience because the little racer angel on my shoulder has been getting choked out by my surly racer devil. "Go faster!" he says. "Screw the consequences." Then I'm gassed by the start of the second lap and do the dumbass shuffle/slide into umpteenth place or DNF-land. Unsurprisingly, this is the same devil that tells me to have another beer (or seven) the night before I plan a long ride or just need to wake up before 4pm.

3) 'Cross keeps up with the Jones too.
There were some pretty sick bikes out there. Bikes that could've easily been raced across the pond at the world championships in Hoogerheide, were instead hanging out in an RV park in Maryland. I don't despise or resent them as I would a triathlete with P3 and a paunch. It's just that fancy carbon things make me nervous and I'm always amazed at how something as simple as riding a modified road bike in the dirt can quickly evolve to include "holy shit did you see those bikes/wheels/etc?" commentary. Personally, I'd rather have another reliable 'cross bike than putting money into carbon bits.

4) Drinking and stuff
If I had friends, I would tell them to all bring their 'cross bikes to my little equestrian park hideout and bring a six-pack or a fifth of Jack for a Sloppy, Slurry, Mashin' Bash. (Like that one? I just came up with that shit.) But since I don't, I'll just ride there, get hammered, and bring a few carrots. Why carrots? On the off chance a horse actually shows up there, I'll be prepared to trick the thing into chasing/racing me on my bike. Then I'll finally have that epic season closer I've been dreaming off. Booyah!