This is News?

I am constantly butting heads with bike "tech" reviews. This is partly because I am a cynical bike purist, but also because some bike reviews are just plain garbage. VeloNews' post on the Bontrager Race XXX Lite road stem one such example.

Stems are one of those components on the bike that don't really do anything but hold something. Seatposts are another and reviews of both components should be limited to three criteria: does it do what it's supposed to, is it easy to use, is it something you would want.

Performance:
Does it clamp to whatever it supposed to? Yes. Done. The end. Why the author even mentions that he "did not notice any particular characteristic" and "could not particularly discern any vibration damping" is beyond me. If this block of carbon and bolts doesn't do anything but attach your bars to your steerer tube, do you need to tell me all the things that it doesn't do? My dog poops and pees, but doesn't do it over the toilet and doesn't even say "excuse me" if he farts. I don't tell people those extra "facts" because people don't expect to hear that kind of stuff. Don't tell me your stem doesn't do anything interesting, if it was never supposed to in the first place.

Ease of Use:
"Installation of this stem is straightforward." What else needs to be said? Mentioning the torque spec is useful, sure, but hardly news-worthy and definitely not something that is outside of anyone's modern expectations. I'd be more surprised if it didn't have any torque specs at all.

The Cool Factor:
This article doesn't make me want this stem because stems are not interesting. I buy a stem to match my handlebars. Typos aside ("The look is graceful but box"), this article is just about as boring as the component it's reviewing. It's informative sure, but I could've read that on Bontrager's website. In bullets. If they wanted to they could have written the article like this:

Fancy carbon block holds handlebar good. Weighs little, expensive, and kind of ugly. Buy if bars say "Bontrager" and are equally as fancy.

I don't hate VeloNews. In fact, it's one of those few things in this world that keep me from going postal on triathletes. But pointless bike reviews drive me nuts. I guess a tech writer's gotta cut his teeth somehow.