Planned Cyclehood

I hate planning rides. I don't mean simply planning to ride on a particular day. I do that just about everyday. What I mean by "planning a ride" is preparing and organizing for a specific route that is usually not included in your regular ride routine. I planned for such a ride yesterday. I was to be joined by Z-man and Flaco on a Skyline Drive bro-ride, which is two-rides under a Zone-1 ride and one ride above a charity ride raising funds for my bar tab. And as happy as I was that we received a sizable rainfall to wash away that inch-thick coat of pollen off my car, I was equally disappointed that it forced us to cancel our ride.

Maybe "forced" is too harsh a word. It wasn't exactly the rain that cancelled our trip. It was the rain that made us lazy and drag our feet to the point where we somehow accepted the logic that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to spend a super soggy day climbing and descended on roads of questionable conditions. Looking back on this supposed "logic," I can't help but plead temporary insanity. I'm going next time, even if there's a fucking tornado.

There are somedays when I feel like being a workhorse in the saddle, or rather a workpony if you've ever ridden with me. But no matter what, I am the laziest sonofabitch when it comes to planning a ride. Do you know why I stuff all those tools, tubes, and food into my pockets when I ride? Because even preparing for an individual ride is friggin' impossible for me to do. I keep all my "pocket crap" in the same pile and don't even bother checking it when I head out for rides. You could replace my co2 pump with a rubber chicken and I would never know until I shoved a presta valve through one of its eyes. I even pack an extra chain and tire when I ride my mountain bike so that I'll always be prepared for the bicycle armageddon and never be stranded anywhere. Planning a ride to Skyline honestly doesn't take that much. A few bottles of water, some food, a car, and you'd be set. You might even be lucky enough to bribe a good friend with enough beer to drive a sag wagon. But then you still have to coordinate with the other riders about dates, distances, a rendezvous time and promise each other you won't constantly attack and try to make the other bonk first. Personally, I'm not really hip to the whole "communication" thing. Nor am I even remotely likely to behave myself on any group ride. So I guess the entire ride was doomed from the start.

And probably the worst part about futilely planning a ride is the second-string ride. Still longing to make the most of the day, you head out for a quick spin only to spend the entire ride grumpy, wishing that you had mustered up the cojones to ride. Dammit...