Car, Radio + Update!

I've finally cleaned out my car of last Sunday's race stuff. There's always something that I forget in there. Usually it's a pair of shoes or my kit with race numbers still pinned, rusting away and staining my jersey. And it's usually the smell more than anything else that compels me to clean out those final pieces. What's frustrating about this week's situation is that I actually made an effort to clear out all my race crap and failed because of a stray pair of sock. Damn you, Woolie Boolies! If you were a lesser sock, I would have thrown you away out of spite.

In other news, radios are on their way out according to reports from the latest UCI Management Committee. While I applaud the UCI's interest in creating a more exciting, natural form of bike racing, I believe their decision is lacking in the creativity department. I think it would have been more interesting to see a designated team captain with a single radio, like they do with the quarterbacks in the NFL. Captains get the directions from the DS and then it's up to him to relay the communications to the rest of his team. That way you get some level of "natural" racing, more teamwork, and still address the "safety concerns" of racers. I know the report doesn't give very specific details on this radio business, but I have a feeling that the UCI hasn't thought this one all the way through. Golfers have their caddies. Pitchers have their catchers. QB's have their coaches, as do basketball players. Even Rocky Balboa had Mickey in his corner, yelling at him with real-time strategies and advice. Cycling would be probably be the only professional sport where an athlete would have to step out to where ever his coach/advisor/DS was then ride back to the competition. Hell, I'd be happy with race directions coming from tin-can phones or via text or "tweets," but I think the total elimination of the radios isn't necessarily what the sport needs. Sure it might bring it back to its roots, but so would wool shorts and down-tube shifters. And have you seen what roots look like? They're all scraggly and covered in dirt. I don't want roots. I want a cycle-berry fruits (stupid metaphor, I know). I want cycling to make progress, to not necessarily limit the peleton, but challenge it in a way that will make the sport more exciting while not inciting another stupid protest where the peleton trucks along at 12mph the entire time. But if all else fails, I still haven't written off starting an official International Bike Jousting League.

Bonus Update:
My meanderings on the interwebs have led me to an article about some triathlete that is auctioning herself off on eBay. It's an auction for a 2.5-hour "date" with professional triathlete Jenna Shoemaker in an attempt for her to get a job? She was advised to get a job so that she could save money to train uninterrupted in January. The auction and her blog (ed - oh God, triathletes can read and write now?!) state that a portion of the proceeds will go to fight breast cancer. The article also says the auction was an effort to keep her from stripping. Now I'm thoroughly confused, but definitely not surprised. I'm confused about how a triathlete can combine stripping and breast cancer in the same intention and how she's going to get a job out of auctioning herself off on eBay. I'm not surprised that the combination of the internet, an overly tight swimcap, and years of sponsor-laden temp tats have resulted in this. What I'm not quite sure about is who in their right mind would want to sit down with a triathlete in Vegas? During INTERBIKE?! There are like a billion things to do there and if you're not doing one of them you're sleeping, passed out, or being carted off in an ambulance. What's there to talk about?

"So, uh... you like aerobars huh?"
"Yeah. They fast."
"...Ok..."
"Want me to draw a smiley face on you with my grease pencil?"
"No." [Leaves room]
"Swimcapwetsuitaerobarsrunningshoes!"

So with less than five hours left, she has raised a grand total of $275. Good luck, Jenna. And good luck to whomever wins that auction. You're going to have dinner with a really interesting person. Like really interesting.