Football and Drinking

I like football. That might be an odd statement for a cyclist, but it's true. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some fantasy league champ nor do I know every obscure stat from my favorite 60 players whose careers I've followed closely through the years beginning with their freshman high school games. I don't know, or even pretend to know every rule, set-up, or play that goes on. I like it simply because it is a sport where a bunch of big heavy armor-clad players try to move a 400 gram leather balloon across a 100-yard field while other big heavy armor-clad players try to stop them. Boiled down to its very core, football can be very interesting. What's less interesting about the sport is the special treatment players get off the field. Sure, you expect them to drive nice cars, have sexy ladies hanging off each arm, and to generally be able to get away with anything. I don't really care about all that. They're professional athletes and that kind of behavior is to be expected. What I don't get is why these athletes can't drink from a bottle of water with out the aid of a waterboy with a giant logo bottle, towel (essentially a giant napkin/bib), khakis, and the proverbial (and sometimes literal) boner for having a gig in such close proximity to sweaty smelly professional athletes. It's not like they're boxers who have giant gloves taped to their fists. Most football players need a great amount of dexterity to handle a ball effectively, and at the very least have enough to hold and squeeze a giant plastic upside down water bottle in the general direction of their mouths. I don't know what the reasoning is behind this phenomenon is and I won't speculate since most aspects of the game cannot be explained with exploded diagrams of derailleurs, hubs, or hydraulic disc brake calipers. What I will say is that in most sports, and especially in cycling, the athletes water themselves. Cyclists can even drink and race at the same time. Oh, and we get to eat while we race too which is something I'm sure all those jocks would love to do.