Richmond Fun

Just finished two days of racing in Richmond. I had fun, but honestly I was just happy to be healthy enough to race my bike. As for the races, I felt fine but thought that the 30-minute race duration was a bit short. Compared to the average 45-minute length of a Men's C race, this weekend's race format meant more pain in a shorter period of time whereas I prefer to experience the pain of the cross-eyed monster for as long as possible or until I break down and cry. It (the pain, and sometimes the crying) tends to make the races more interesting, but what do I know? I prefer crits to road races, so maybe I'm just a hypocrite.

What I do know is that I need to work more on being smooth over the barriers. I wasn't botching any of the dismounting/remounting, but as I was watching the 1/2 and 3 races go by, I noticed how smooth some of those long-legged racers just float over them. But I have a plan to lengthen my legs. It includes gravity boots, a weight belt, and learning to eat Chipotle burritos upside down. I will use the gravity boots to suspend myself upside down and wear the weight belt to stretch my legs until they're long enough. Ideally, I'd like a 48-inch inseam, or roughly 3 times the height of a regulation 40cm barrier. The burrito comes into play in two ways. Firstly, it's about the only thing that will keep me entertained whilst hanging upside down. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Crunches? Secondly, after eating the burrito I will inevitably be unable to do a single sit-up and will thus be confined to the gravity boots until the food coma kicks in. I will be able to stay in my inverted position longer and thus be that much closer to my goal of having 4-foot long legs.

I would like to add that while I might not be the best barrier crosser out there, I am far from the worst as witnessed by myself and approximately 25 of my peers at the first set of barriers in today's race. What we saw to day was a racer in the Men's A/B field eat it, tripping over the second barrier. Yes. That happens to everyone. But what doesn't happen to everyone is a subsequent hissy fit where said racer throws his bike (including his carbon tubular wheels), spikes his helmet and glasses. What came next was a red-faced and sweaty rant about how he was having bad luck in the corners, over the barriers, and no one would work with him to establish/maintain a break. To that I say: That's racing, buddy. Nut up, practice more, and bring something other than an expensive bike and a bad attitude to your race next weekend. After all, why are we doing this shit if we weren't having sick, sadistic fun?