A Riddle for the Slow

What's square, ugly, and rendered completely useless after 45 minutes?

That's right. My pedal stroke.

I rode my road bike for the first time in months today. I figured I owed it to myself to take a week off before transitioning from cyclocross to training for the upcoming road season. Forty-five minutes into my ride, I soon realized that my legs while somewhat useful for riding 'cross were nothing even close to effective at powering my road bike. I felt slow and in my shame, I refused to look at my computer for fear that instead of displaying my speed and cadence it would simply show alternating emoticons of laughing and frowning faces. :D :( :D :(

Stupid computer.

On another note, if you ever want to star in a Cheech and Chong movie while maintaining your superior Vo2-max then I highly suggest riding this winter with ventilated sunglasses. My eyes became so dry and red that I was tempted to pull over at a gas station and put droplets of anti-freeze on my frigid eyeballs. I resisted this urge and used chain lube instead (because I was near my shop and it was free). Now it's time to drown my sorrows in an alcoholic beverage and suffocate them in an Italian Store sandwich. Woe is me.