Bikes, Bikes, Cops, and Rain

Whoa. Back at it again. I tend to blackout when it rains for that long. I'd liken it to bears hibernating in the winter, but that would be an insult to bears and I already have enough of them pissed off at me.

While I was gone:

Giro, Schmiro
The centenary edition of the Giro d'Italia started last Saturday. I know this because nearly every bike website that I frequent has some sort of 'tech' article about custom-themed race bikes. Aside from winning Worlds or a national championship, it used to be that riders would get a custom saddle or might even splurge for different bar tape. Shoes were another component that riders would get customized, but that special treatment was strictly limited to parts that affected ergonomics. Earlier this year, Lance got a special bike for the Tour Down Under to commemorate his return to the sport. That was pretty cool considering his accomplished palmares. But now Trek has commissioned guerilla, street artist Shepard Fairey (the guy who created the "Obey" and "Hope" campaigns) to decorate Lance's bike with stickers. Fantastic, but I'm not quite sure "Winners, Not Wankers 2009" is on par with his other work. Decorating a Trek with stickers is only one step above putting a giant "Ford" sticker across the rear windshield of your F-150. What's next? Truck nuts for your saddle bags? It's not like these bikes are commemorating anything in particular. Take Gilberto Simoni's bike. Sure he won a couple Giros but what does that have to do with his metallic blue Guerciotti? Oh that's right. I forgot he had a smurftastic ride at the Tour de Smurf. I thought part of being a team was looking like one too. It's a the Giro d'Italia, not fucking NAHBS.

Speaking of Which
My dreams have come true and I will finally be going to see one of the most interesting bike shows in the world. Show founder and director, Don Walker just announced that the show will travel to Richmond, Va for its sixth edition. I. AM. PSYCHED!!!!11!!!one!!

The Fuzz
I got pulled over by a DC Park Police officer yesterday for allegedly "swerving" out of my lane. It took a lot of self-control not to sprint away from him, but two things held me back: I was wearing my team kit and I wasn't drunk. Also, I'm slow.

Rain
If you didn't notice the rain, you must love being indoors. I hate the indoors but I tried to do everything possible to be productive while being off the bike. I tuned up my mountain bike and installed new tires and a tubeless setup. I tuned up some old bikes I rarely ride to get them ready for sale on Craigslist. I guess I'm seeing a bit of faulty logic in trying to get my mind off riding bikes by spending time around bikes but not actually riding them. Hindsight's a bitch.

As far as actual riding goes, I'm ashamed to say that I didn't do much of that. Riding in the rain is fine for a day or two, but after that I seriously start considering moving to places where it doesn't rain for entire weeks, like the Moon. Also, from a mechanic's standpoint riding in the rain drives me nuts. You have two options: Don't ride in the rain and avoid having to dry, clean, overhaul, lube, and tune your bike. Or ride in the rain, be pissed the entire ride for intentionally mucking up your bike, and sit at home or at the shop for hours because your obsessive-compulsive self won't allow you to have a bike that isn't in perfect working order.

The write-in option in this scenario would be to ride in the rain, be pissed for getting your bike wet, put it away wet because you're pissed and tired from the ride, then spend the next fair weather ride super pissed because you're chasing around 16-million squeaks and creaks from all the dried out and gunked up components that you didn't take the time to fix (which is what happened to me yesterday).

Planned Cyclehood

I hate planning rides. I don't mean simply planning to ride on a particular day. I do that just about everyday. What I mean by "planning a ride" is preparing and organizing for a specific route that is usually not included in your regular ride routine. I planned for such a ride yesterday. I was to be joined by Z-man and Flaco on a Skyline Drive bro-ride, which is two-rides under a Zone-1 ride and one ride above a charity ride raising funds for my bar tab. And as happy as I was that we received a sizable rainfall to wash away that inch-thick coat of pollen off my car, I was equally disappointed that it forced us to cancel our ride.

Maybe "forced" is too harsh a word. It wasn't exactly the rain that cancelled our trip. It was the rain that made us lazy and drag our feet to the point where we somehow accepted the logic that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to spend a super soggy day climbing and descended on roads of questionable conditions. Looking back on this supposed "logic," I can't help but plead temporary insanity. I'm going next time, even if there's a fucking tornado.

There are somedays when I feel like being a workhorse in the saddle, or rather a workpony if you've ever ridden with me. But no matter what, I am the laziest sonofabitch when it comes to planning a ride. Do you know why I stuff all those tools, tubes, and food into my pockets when I ride? Because even preparing for an individual ride is friggin' impossible for me to do. I keep all my "pocket crap" in the same pile and don't even bother checking it when I head out for rides. You could replace my co2 pump with a rubber chicken and I would never know until I shoved a presta valve through one of its eyes. I even pack an extra chain and tire when I ride my mountain bike so that I'll always be prepared for the bicycle armageddon and never be stranded anywhere. Planning a ride to Skyline honestly doesn't take that much. A few bottles of water, some food, a car, and you'd be set. You might even be lucky enough to bribe a good friend with enough beer to drive a sag wagon. But then you still have to coordinate with the other riders about dates, distances, a rendezvous time and promise each other you won't constantly attack and try to make the other bonk first. Personally, I'm not really hip to the whole "communication" thing. Nor am I even remotely likely to behave myself on any group ride. So I guess the entire ride was doomed from the start.

And probably the worst part about futilely planning a ride is the second-string ride. Still longing to make the most of the day, you head out for a quick spin only to spend the entire ride grumpy, wishing that you had mustered up the cojones to ride. Dammit...