Stinkers

My bike stinks.
No. I'm not comparing it to EBH's Pinarello. [His bike is just alright.]
I'm talking about how my bike actually smells.

The little riding I've done these past couple weeks have been almost exclusively on my commuter rig. I bring it on my two-part car+bike commute to class and work and with 28c slicks, full fenders, and a rack it's pretty much perfect for riding where ever there isn't ice or 3 feet of snow. [Note: there are currently very few such places.] I did however make a few modifications recently in light of the heavier use it's been getting. Drop bars were added to keep any fixie hipsters from thinking my bike was "cool." And I also took one out of the ProTour mechanics' books and used grease on the chain to seal in an initial layer of lube and keep the snow/salt muck from screwing with my stuff too much. So far it's held up admirably and my chain hasn't uttered a single creak all winter, despite the salty, margarita-like slush out there. I've tried several different combinations of grease/lube, but haven't really found a clear winner. I've used everything from Shimano Special Grease (oooOOOooo! Flouro Yellow!) to Park Tool's pukey-green PolyLube 1000. Personally, I tend to lean towards whatever is cheapest. The mechanic in me cringes whenever I see the filth on my chain (at least it's not in my chain) so I'm frequently wiping off the excess or reapplying a new coat of grease. Such obsessive compulsive behavior can end up being quite pricey when you're using several tubes of high-grade teflon grease each winter. Also, I don't recommend doing this if your clothes aren't already stained with several years worth of bike grease, unless you're already in the market for a new wardrobe. Actually I don't recommend doing this at all to your chain. Having just re-read the above paragraph, I realize I'm starting to sound like those whackos that come into the shop singing praises about all this crazy shit they use on their bikes, like motor oil on their chains and WD-40 on their squeaky brake pads. And much like those crazies, I have taken an obvious digression from my original thoughts and written about something stupid.

My bike smells. [Oh shit, this is gonna be stupid too]

It smells and I don't care if this is stupid, but after a couple weeks of riding in the pre-treated, treated, and post-treated(?) roads my bike smells bad. It's not the kind of taint sweat-soaked neoprene saddle cover smell that you can manufacture in any fat man's gym bag. It's the kind of stink you get from a backed-up sink that you just ran a 25ft snake down to clear. That's right. Sewer stink. I guess it makes sense since instead of the water draining from the roads, it sits on top in it's semi-frozen state being peed on by hobos and splashed in by cars, trucks, and people dumb enough to ride their greasy, dirty, salty bikes outside.