Mind the Gap

There are several reasons why you should wash your hands thoroughly after applying embrocation to your legs. We've all heard the wild tales of incidents in the bathroom involving embrocation on *ahem* sensitive areas. Truth be told, I've never done that. Mostly because I'm pretty careful when I'm doing stuff down there, especially when I'm in spandex, but also because I have a bidet that doubles as a fire extinguisher. And then there's always the one where you reach up to wipe something out of your eye with what you thought was a clean finger, which I call the Dirty Sanchez of the embrocation world. It sucks, but again I don't do that often since whenever it's embro weather, I'm usually wearing full finger gloves. Today's lesson in embro-sanitation comes from my lovely noon ride at Hains Point. I rode down from home and got in the mix with pretty quick guys today. The legs aren't there yet, but at least they were shiny in their embrocated glory. It was the perfect weather for it too, with mostly cloudy skies and pretty breezy conditions down at The Point. After taking my time getting home (aka I was completely out of gas), I jumped in the shower and suddenly realized the mistake I had made. While I was wearing gloves and arm warmers, there was a small gap between them. And if you've ever worn embro on a sunny day, you'll know that shit is like SPF -55. It might as well be fucking Crisco. It's actually fun to watch your legs sizzle in the sun, knowing that you're gonna have the most PRO-looking legs, or in my case the most PRO-looking fat blobs. But I messed up when I didn't get all the embro off my hands today and some of it got on my wrists right where the gap between my arm warmers and gloves was today. I have a subtle inch-wide tan line across each wrist. So now I look like some freaky, starved Chippendales dancer with horrible tan lines. So to all that use embro, mind the gap.